Thursday, November 23, 2006

Bathmatwatch: Day 24

The bath mat here demonstrates the perfect angle at which to parallel park, using, if I am not mistaken, Dunlop tyres.

Despite the recent giant leap for bathmatkind, I am concerned that Bathmatwatch is getting a bit boring. The bath mat hasn’t moved for two days, and now that you have had a taste of excitement you will only want more. Audiences are very sophisticated these days, capable of following multiple non-linear narratives, and expecting plot twists that challenge the very nature of the programme’s reality every week.

I have thus used all my scriptwriting talents to address this problem, and have decided to introduce an irritating comedy sidekick for the bath mat. He is called Scrappy-Loo, and is the horseshoe-shaped piece of mat that goes around a toilet. He is also the bath mat’s never-before-mentioned nephew, though I can’t be bothered to work out a back-story for that. He just is, OK?

Though you may not be able to tell, Scrappy-Loo is not a real horseshoe-shaped mat – he is the latest in ‘CGI’ (computer-generated imagery, like the dinosaurs in Jurassic Park), and is just ‘superimposed’ seamlessly into the scene.