Wednesday, November 29, 2006

Bathmatwatch: Day 30

Like The Truman Show, this is only going to end one way. Items born of the John Lewis bathroom department have but a short time to live. (I am not saying that John Lewis sell things of unmerchantable quality, by the way. They are an excellent chain, and never knowingly undersold (except by every shop on the internet, but that's an unfair comparison because they have much better customer service – eg I bought a pair of gloves for my mum's birthday today from a very nice woman. (It is OK – my mum does not, as far as I know, read this blog, and if she does, she does not know it is her son's, so I have not ruined the surprise.)). No, I am subtly using a metaphor for life.)

I don't know what I will do when it goes. It would be wrong to replace it with an identical stained, bedraggled and run over bath mat to spare your feelings. It is important that you all learn about death and grieve properly. It would also be wrong to immediately start another abandoned item watch – that would just be a rebound relationship, forever tainted with the unspoken question: “You're thinking about the bath mat, aren't you?”

We just have to take one day at a time.