Thursday, January 11, 2007

Rafael Benitez’s Troubleshooting Guide to the History of the World

Liverpool manager Rafael Benitez offered the following explanation for his side’s recent 6-3 defeat to Arsenal:

"The problem was conceding four goals in the first half.”

Thanks, Rafa. I’d been reading the match reports for hours trying to work out what might have gone wrong, but you’ve really hit the nail on the head there. As Basil Fawlty would say, “Can’t we get you on Mastermind? Specialist subject: stating the bleeding obvious”. Here are some answers you could give:

The problem was the ship hitting the iceberg.

The problem was the plague making the people ill.

The problem was the earthquake knocking the buildings down.

The problem was the man with the rifle shooting at the president.

The problem was the people not having enough to eat.

The problem was the airship catching fire.

The problem was the volcano erupting and burying the city.

The problem was the first aeroplane colliding with the second aeroplane.

The problem was the nuclear power station exploding.

The problem was the asteroid hitting the Earth.