Tuesday, February 20, 2007

Adventures In The Cave – The Next Generation

I had a lovely weekend in Derbyshire with my girlfriend. We packed a lot in, enjoying all the things that are different to London. So much so, in fact, that it wasn’t until we were halfway round one famous attraction that, with a massive déjà vu-like rush, I realised exactly where I was.

I was in a cave.

I was having an adventure in a cave.

I rarely visit caves. I have only ever been to two or three previously in my whole life – an average of perhaps once a decade. So what were the chances of me finding myself in one so soon after having transcribed and analysed the whole of Adventures In The Cave? It can’t be discounted that the prominence of the story in my mind meant that I had made a subconscious choice of which tourist attraction to visit, but the joyous surprise I felt at the sudden revelation made it feel that life had some kind of meaning.

I nearly laughed out loud at that moment – the guide certainly gave me a funny look as he was pointing out some fossils, and I was in a good mood for the rest of the day. I’ll never say that life doesn’t imitate art again.

In tribute, here is my adventure:

Salvadore and his girlfriend lived together. One Saturday, Salvadore’s girlfriend said “We’ve come all this way, let’s go out somewhere.” So they went.

At the cave Salvadore couldn’t find the way in. He picked up a sharp rock, but then the guide opened the door. So they went in.

“Wwwwhat is ththat” said Salvadore’s girlfriend, questioningly. “It can’t be a gosht” said Salvadore, doubtfully. “It’s a rock that looks a bit like an elephant” said the guide, in an explaining way. “Hi here’s a kind of ladder” said Salvadore. So they went up the kind of ladder.

“That’s a Tyranosawas Rex OK” said Salvadore. “That’s what’ll” said Salvadore’s girlfriend. “Tyranosawas Rex” said Salvadore. “This is a fossil of a brachiopod – a kind of shellfish” said the guide. “That’s what I meant” said Salvadore.

“This must be the way out” said Salvadore, pointing at a door that had not vanished.

“Yes, that’s the way out” said the guide.

So they went back to the hotel.