Wednesday, June 06, 2007

Flaking It

Mocking advertisements and pointing out the inane lies behind them is like shooting fish in a barrel. And not lots of little fish that are swimming around quickly, making them a bit difficult to aim at, what with water refracting light and giving a false perception of depth, but one fat fish that is so big it’s pretty much wedged into the barrel. A fish that has also been genetically modified to grow a series of concentric circles on its back like an archery target with a big flashing neon arrow saying “AIM HERE ->”.

It’s unsatisfyingly easy, but I was intrigued by the latest advert from Head and Shoulders that promised to leave me “up to 100% flake-free”. That “up to” is worryingly non-specific, isn’t it? By its very definition, percent goes from 0 “up to” 100, so what they’re really saying is “anything could happen”.

On that basis anyone could claim anything:

“Werthers Originals – make you up to 100% immortal.”

(I don’t have dandruff by the way – just healthy-looking hair.)