Monday, June 18, 2007

Property Ladder

I needed a ladder to fix a burglar alarm to the outside of the flat. But I do not own a ladder, so the burglar alarm just sat uninstalled on the table for several weeks. I was worried about this. Someone could break in and steal all our expensive electronic items – like the new burglar alarm for a start. But it would be a waste to buy a ladder to just use once, particularly as I have nowhere to store it.

I decided that I would ask to borrow my Dad’s ladder next time I go to see him, then try to find somewhere to keep it in the flat until I could take it back. Hardly ideal, but I emailed him to ask.

I then went to take the rubbish out and what did I find next to the bins but an old, paint-covered ladder. What are the chances? Imagine if I had asked to borrow a million pounds from my Dad. Or a naked Jenna Fischer. What would I have found by the bins then? Perhaps this could be the plot to a magical realism film like Being John Malkovich. A moderately successful children’s TV writer finds that when he emails his Dad asking to borrow something, the very thing that he asked to borrow appears next to his flat’s rubbish bins (albeit a bit covered in paint).

Even more serendipitous, the ladder was exactly tall enough for me to stand on the top step and reach up and drill the holes. And even more serendipitous still I didn't fall off the ladder and drill a hole through my skull as I hit the ground as I feared that I might.

I put the magic ladder back by the bins, ready for another adventure. (I know that leaving ladders out is a silly idea as they can be used by burglars, but obviously I have that covered now.)

I emailed my Dad again and said it’s OK – I’ve found a ladder. But if he’s finished with Ms Fischer...