Monday, August 15, 2011

In Which I Post the Word ‘Cunt’ Through Winnie-the-Pooh’s Letterbox

We are having a family day out at a country park that contains Hundred Aker Wood, a charming recreation of the world of AA Milne, complete with houses for Winnie-the-Pooh and all his friends for small children to explore. My Lovely Son is optimistically wearing a sunhat under his cagoule and all is well with the world. He has been here before and apparently there is a letterbox at Pooh’s house where you can post a letter, so he has drawn a picture for him.

As usual, My Lovely and Environmentally Aware Son has used the back of a piece of paper from my scrap paper pile to do his drawing. This stack of paper comes from old drafts of scripts I've printed out and no longer need. He's done a lovely drawing of a jar of honey, so we approach the letterbox confidently, knowing that the bear of very little brain is going to love this. The piece of A4 is too big to fit in the letterbox, so we carefully fold it. When I see the other side I see that something has gone a bit wrong in the whole posting a letter to Winnie-the-Pooh scenario. Whilst most of my writing is for children's television, My Lovely Son has done a lot more drawing recently, and to retrieve this piece of paper he has gone quite far down the strata of paper to a short film script I wrote a few years ago, which contains the word 'cunt'. Several times. A piece of paper which we are about to post through the letterbox of one of the world's best loved children's characters. I look at My Lovely Son. He looks back up at me. He loves Winnie-the-Pooh, and is very proud of his drawing. With a bit of help he has even spelled the word ‘hunny’ correctly. There is no way that we cannot post this, so I lift him up and in it goes.

Hopefully Owl, whose spelling goes all to pieces over delicate words like 'measles' and 'buttered toast', will help Pooh to read it and tell him that I wrote a script about King Cnut.